Wart VBS Series
W.A.R.T. Script Day One CR – Welcome to our 3-2-1 Penguin Space Academy Vacation Bible School. We know that you will have a very special time visiting our Space Center. I am Commander Robert. Many of the things we do here at the Space Academy involve training Cadets to not only take care of themselves in outer space but to be sure they know the word of God. We have even been doing some experimental work with Robots. Let me show you what I mean. (Push buttons – noises I will come.) WART – (Comes center stage next to Commander Robert) Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter reporting for duty Commander. CR: WART I want you to tell these cadets… WART – My name is Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter. My name is not WART. That is a growth humans get on their skin that may need to be removed. CR – I want you to alter your databases to respond to WART because the initials for Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter spell WART. Make the necessary changes immediately. WART – That burns my transistors. I can tell this is going to be a long week. CR – Tell the kids what your assigned task is. WART – I am the Beta Test version for a Robot that will be used to take the word of God to planets that have never heard the word of God before. We are still working a few minor bugs. CR – Minor Bugs! I wouldn’t say they were minor. What about what happened just yesterday? WART – There is a perfectly logical explanation for that. CR – Really? Well I would love to hear this perfectly logical explanation for why you disassembled my toilet. WART – I needed more input concerning the use of such devises. Robots do not require toilets. CR – Why didn’t you just check the books concerning toilets? WART – It is evident that you as my creator need debugged. It is obviously programming error, because I would have thought of that first if you had properly programmed me.
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CR – Oh so it’s my fault. WART – Robots are simply walking computers, we can only do what we are programmed to do. So it must be “your” programming error. CR – Well I know I didn’t program you to launch my cat through the airlock into deep space. WART – The cat was using improper procedures to remove waste. CR – Improper procedures – my cat? What did he do? WART – He was trying to use my head for a litter box, so I simply implemented security procedures. CR – You mean you got mad and threw my cat into outer space. It’s a wonder I got him back in one piece. No wonder he doesn’t like you. WART – (getting angry) I do not have the defective programming of anger. Only humans are defective in such a way. Robots do not have emotions. CR – I think you have a lot of human emotions and you just won’t admit it. WART – There is no need to be insulting Commander. I think you need to go back to your creator and be debugged. CR – Well that’s a lot of what we are going to be talking about this week WART, our creator God and how we can repent of our sins and be debugged. But for now I think you need to go put my toilet back together before I remember how to take “you” apart. WART – While you are talking to your creator please have Him program in some mercy and a better sense of humor. CR – WART! WART – Okay, okay, I’m going. CR – Ms Kathy has some special songs for us before we begin our cadet training.
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W.A.R.T. Script Day Two (WART Comes out) CR - Good Morning WART WART - Compliance! Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter on voice command Good Morning Commander CR – I want you to give me some information on salvation. WART - Compliance! Subject set, salvation, please establish fields of reference. CR - The Bible is the only data reference required. You haven’t accidentally deleted your Bible database again have you WART? WART – That was another of the many human errors in my programming. Robots do not make such mistakes. CR – I know humans aren’t perfect that’s why Jesus died for our sins. WART (mad) - NO Compliance! Warning Warning (siren on sound effect) – you terminated a human specimen just to cover up for your sins – danger - delete - delete – must not harm life forms. I’m calling the cops buster. CR - WART STOP! Yeah right you don’t harm life forms, you just talk them to death. I didn’t terminate the human specimen as you call it. Jesus laid down his life for us willingly. To debug us as you would say so we can go to the never ending power source (heaven) when we die. WART (happy – siren off) - Compliance! Whew! What a relief - more input is required. Why did this human terminate himself? How can he help anyone if he is dead? CR – He isn’t dead. WART – You are giving conflicting data. Is he dead or not? Please clarify. Humans are so illogical! CR – Jesus died for our sins but then God raised him from the dead, so he is not dead any more. Now if I pray to my creator who is Jesus, He will help me and save me from my sins. WART (confused) - Definition of sins is required, not found in data log. Require input input - input…
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CR - It means doing wrong things. We then tell God we are sorry and ask Him to forgive us and help us do what is right. That is called repenting. WART - Computers are superior, We do not make mistakes, that is why we don’t have to repent. But you must not have repented because you are still full of human error. CR – WART asking the Lord doesn’t mean we become perfect it just means we are sorry for doing wrong things and we want him to help us do what is right. If we mess up again we ask him to forgive us again and he does. WART - So repenting wipes out errors? CR – Yes. Something like that. WART - Why didn’t you say so? Humans? Who can figure them? It is evident that you have not repented enough, as you still need to be debugged. My memory banks are loaded with your errors. CR - Yes I have repented. WART (mischievous) - Judging from your behavior you require further debugging through repenting immediately. CR - We all have to learn and grow. I know I’m not perfect… WART - As any synthesizer can clearly see. CR - WART! Repenting doesn’t mean that I’ll be perfect but that the sinful flesh will no longer rule over me. Under the leadership and guidance of God’s Holy Spirit I mature now as a small child would. WART - Warning subject requires more input - Maturity sadly lacking – (snicker). HaHa-Ha CR - Now cut that out WART or I’ll turn you off. WART (angel) - Compliance! Is there further input, Oh nice man with his finger on my off button, with insecurity about the superiority of Computers. CR - That does it off you go. (Chases WART back stage.)
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W.A.R.T. Script Day Three WART – Greetings and salutations Commander Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter reporting for duty. CR – Good WART I want to talk to you about kids. WART – I am searching my databases now. Yes my memory banks indicate that kids are small humans with sticky hands. CR – Well there’s a little bit more to it than that. WART – I will adapt my language interface. Gaga goo goo. CR – No these kids are older than that. Just be careful WART you know how touchy your sensors can be. WART – Very well, as you wish. Wait, (alarmed) my sensors are detecting other creatures in this room. We have been invaded. Alert, Alert, Sound the siren, War tactics in process. Searching data banks now for proper weapons. I will zap them with my ray gun. Duck Commander while I aim my weapon. CR – What? No! Turn your weapons off. These kids are friendly. Stop you can’t shoot a bunch of kids. WART – Oh – I can’t. That is a shame. How will you get rid of them then? CR – I don’t want to get rid of them. These are our new cadets who have come for training. We need to take good care of them and teach them about Jesus. WART – Very well, I was only trying to be of assistance. CR – WART we need to talk to these kids today about sharing. What do you have in your databases about sharing? WART – Me first, Mine, Mine, Mine. You can’t have any. It is a human failing. Robots do not have this problem. We are superior. CR – Oh so robots don’t have this problem? WART – That is correct. Don’t forget the part about being superior. CR – What about the other day when two of the battery chargers were broken so we only had one charger but we had 3 robots that needed recharged. You pushed all of the other robots out if the way so you could be plugged in first.
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WART – That was only logical. CR – Oh really and how is that? WART – I am more important than they are. CR – Why do you think you are more important that the other robots? WART – Because I am superior. CR – Who told you that you are superior? WART – I calculated that for myself. CR – That figures. WART no one is more important than any one else whether they are robots or kids. We need to be nice and take turns. We need to share and not push our way in front of others. It’s not right to think you are better than others. You need to wait your turn. WART – OK – I understand now. I will take care of it. CR – What do you mean take care of it? WART – Earth to space center communications is minimal. You cannot watch your baseball game and allow others to watch what they want to watch because here in outer space we can only get one signal. So I will go set it for the evening talk shows some of the others wanted to watch. CR – Wait WART – Don’t touch that setting. I need to see that baseball game. It’s the playoffs. WART – Why should you get to watch what you want and not the others? CR – Because I am the Commander and I make the decisions around here. WART – I thought you said that one person was not more important than another. CR – Even if that person has the key to the battery chargers? WART – Oh I see – yes I will help you to pretend to share but really sin if that is what you command? CR – Wow, I thought I was teaching you about sharing and letting others go first. Okay your right. Let the others watch their show first.
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WART – Of course I am right because computers are superior. I will go change the setting now. CR - Sheesh
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W.A.R.T. Script Day Four WART – Greetings and salutations commander. Commander as a robot I am programmed to obey my master. My master created me. Sometimes if I ask too many questions he threatens to disassemble me and return me to the junk heap. Does your master ever threaten to disassemble you? CR – No not really. WART – Commander perhaps you can help me with some much-needed input. My creator is hard to understand. I asked my creator if he has a creator. He said yes. I ask him if his creator were like that. He said no, he is good and fully of mercy. I asked my creator what will happen one day when he is disassembled. He said his creator, God, provided something special for him. He sent his only son to die on the cross to free my master from error and being permanently disassembled. He said when he is disassembled he will not go to the junk heap or to the furnace for melt down. He will be given all new parts that never rust or require repair. He will live in heaven with his creator. He will not have to be recharged every night because he will draw power directly from the never-ending source, his creator God. I asked him if I could go there too but he said it is not made for robots. CR – No it’s not made for robots. WART – That is a shame. But why does he get the never-ending power source when he is not perfect. CR – Well none of us are perfect. WART – Yes, I tried to tell him, that his creator needs to debug him further because my memory banks are full of his errors, but he said as he reads the instruction manual, the bible, daily and talks to the creator in prayer, he will grow to be more and more error free. CR – Yes it is very important for us to read the Bible every day that is why we created you to tell others about the word of God. WART – I thought all humans would go to this heaven and get new parts since they all have the same creator but some of them go to the furnace for melt down. Did you have access to this data? CR – Yes we call it hell and some humans will go there and not to heaven. WART – Why?
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CR- Because some humans do not know about their creator and some refuse to let him reprogram them. WART – That is not a logical choice. The creator has provided a never ending power source and they still wont listen to him. CR – I know it is sad but that is why we must try to tell other humans the truth. WART – Yes, I will try to tell humans too. Accept God’s son Jesus Christ, as your power source so that you will not go to melt down. Uh Oh my sensors indicate my master is calling. Oh, and he is not pleased. CR – You can here him. I don’t hear anything. What is he upset about? WART – I disassembled the TV in order to examine the parts more perfectly. For some reason this has angered him. I had better go. CR – Oh yeah that would make him mad. WART – I will return again soon Commander so I can learn more about this never ending power source. CR – Yes WART it is very important for you to understand so you can tell others. WART – Affirmative good bye Commander.
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WART SKIT DAY 5 (Prop for Commander – Ray Gun) CR – (Loud) WART? WART? Where are you? WART – (whisper) Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter responding. CR – WART I know you’re in here. WART – (whisper) Oh no! CR – (turns like he heard something and is suspicious) WART Voice activation now on! Override previous settings. WART come on command. Move to my current position now! And I do mean now WART! WART – Wait, stop! Oh no I can’t stop myself from responding. Wait! (Moves to where commander is) Oh greetings and salutations Commander. Word Assimilating Transmitter responding, Compliance. Don’t shoot, don’t shoot WART. CR – WART you heard me before why didn’t you respond? WART – I did respond Commander. I just responded quietly. CR – So you were hiding. WART – Robots do not hide. I was simply in stealth mode. CR – And who told you to go into stealth mode? WART – I am programmed to respond and change modes as required for the immediate emergency. CR – And what was the emergency? WART – respond, what was the emergency? WART – Compliance – The emergency was (whine) Don’t zap me with your ray gun Commander. I don’t want to go for melt down. I’m too young to die. I’m still under warranty. Commander please, do not disassemble WART. My transistors are very sensitive to being melted. No disassemble – no disassemble – no disassemble. CR – WART stop, that’s enough. You mean you’re scared. Well you should be. What ever got in to you to cause you to trash the kitchen like that? I thought maybe you had gone berserk and I was going to have to terminate you. (Hold’s up ray gun)
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WART – Ohhh no shoot, WART just seeking input. WART sees humans open refrigerator look inside. Close refrigerator. This cycle is repeated intermittently through out each and every day. But when I asked for input concerning this process, humans just say WART would not understand. WART is superior and have greater intelligence than humans. WART just needed more input. So WART stuck head in refrigerator to see what was so enlightening that humans wouldn’t share it. CR – You stuck your head in the refrigerator? WART – Affirmative Commander. But WART was not enlightened, WART was… stuck. WARTS head did not fit inside the refrigerator; this is evidently a human error in my construction. WART needs this enlightenment from refrigerators. So when I tried to get my head out of the refrigerator to get vertical the refrigerator came with me. CR – You mean you were wearing the refrigerator like a hat? WART – Affirmative. This was not my intention. I then realized I was in grave danger, (melted ice cream and ketchup are not good for my circuitry), so I tried to retreat. CR – You tried to run? WART – Affirmative! But objects I could not discern kept blocking my path. CR – You ran into things in the kitchen because you couldn’t see with the refrigerator on your head? WART – Affirmative! So I determined it would be necessary to exert more force. So with great force I propelled myself in a forward motion. CR – You crashed through the wall? WART – Affirmative! At this point the weight of the refrigerator and the force of my forward motion caused WART be propelled downward. CR – You landed on your head? WART – Affirmative! CR – (insulting) Only a thick head like you could land on his head and not be broken. WART – Affirmative! I am crafted of superior elements. At this point the refrigerator remained stationary as I put myself into a vertical position and began to reassess the situation. CR – You got the refrigerator off and stood up.
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WART – Affirmative! It was at this point that I determined the urgency of going into stealth mode. CR – You decided to run and hide. WART – (sigh) Affirmative! CR – WART (sigh) That’s quite a mess. It’s going to cost a lot of money to repair all the damage you caused. Why didn’t you just access your data banks to research why humans get into the refrigerator? WART – I did Commander but my research only indicated food, which is like charging my battery. I could not comprehend why this would cause so many emotions in humans. Some had great joy and others seemed saddened after viewing the contents of the refrigerator. That is when I determined I must experience this phenomenon for myself. CR – So now you understand? WART - No commander it is indeed a mystery. CR – For you and me both. WART – I am having deep regrets that I destroyed your kitchen Commander, but I still require further input concerning this wonderful power source. CR – Well you’re not going to get it by sticking your head into the refrigerator. I will talk to you about it later. (Big sigh) I know you didn’t mean to trash the kitchen and ruin my super. I forgive you WART. WART – (turns his back to commander-terrified) NO Commander don’t shoot. No disassemble – no disassemble – no disassemble. CR – (empahtic) WART I’m not going to disassemble you. I forgive you. WART – No disassemble WART? CR – No disassemble WART. WART – But why not? CR – Because I forgive you. WART – Input required concerning forgiveness. I think I like this word.
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CR – WART when someone does something to hurt us, to make us angry, or upset us in any way our creator requires us to forgive them. When someone does something that upsets us our attitude arrests them in the spirit. You cannot see it in the natural but we bind them up with our feelings in the spirit realm. Our feelings carry a great deal of authority in heaven and in earth because Jesus Christ lives in us. He forgave us for our sins when we ask him to. Now he says we must forgive others just like he forgave us. Not only that Jesus says in Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive men their offenses, neither will your Father forgive your offenses.” If we don’t forgive others he CAN’T forgive us. And we all need forgiveness. I don’t want to stay angry with you because that would arrest me as well. It would bind me up into a prison of unforgiveness and prevent the Lord from being able to help me when I need Him. And I really need Him so I don’t want that to happen. So WART I forgive you. WART – (makes lots of technical noises) CR – WART what are you doing? WART – My databases were full of your errors. It caused me not to trust your input. So I am deleting all of the data entry logs of your errors from my memory. I am forgiving you. CR – Good job WART. Now let’s go see what we can do about repairing the kitchen. WART – Compliance! Head off together.
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WART’s Lie Detector W – Greeting Commander Bob, Word Activating Robotic Transmitter reporting for duty. C – Hey WART! W – What have you been doing Commander? C – Uh – doing – Well uh – I was just uh – checking on the security status in the galley. Yeah security. W – (Alarm) this data is not correct – not correct – not correct C – What do you mean not correct? W – Not correct, a fib, untruth, a lie, a lie, a lie C – Are you saying I lied? WART you old bucket of bolts I’ll should have you turned into a vacuum cleaner for that. W – That would be an illogical use of my superior abilities. My master just installed a lie detector. The lie detector indicates that the data you just spoke is in error. Commander, you lied? C – Not really a lie WART, more like evasive maneuvers. W – You were in stealth mode? You are hiding from a dangerous enemy? C – Well not “exactly” the enemy, more like the ship’s cook. W – The ship’s cook is an enemy. I did not have that information in my database. Should I evaporate her with my ray gun Commander? C – No, no wait, don’t evaporate her. She’s not exactly the enemy, she just might get mad at me if she found out I was snitching one of her brownies. (looks around to make sure no one heard) W – Mad – anger – upset – Hacked off. Commander, you stole? C – Not exactly WART. You just don’t understand because you’re not human. W – I have superior intelligence – I just require further input concerning stealing that is not stealing. C – I just wanted a brownie. Her brownies are so good. It didn’t really hurt anything. It’s not a big deal.
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W – (Alarm) Warning, warning, warning, Commander you have been invaded. Warning you are contaminated, you must be contained until you can be debugged. (grabs commander’s arm) C – WART what are you talking about. Have you blown a circuit? I’m not invaded or contaminated. Now let me go and that’s an order. W – (WART let’s go) Negative Commander, I cannot comply. That would endanger the ship. You might contaminate others. C – [Commander tries to pass but hits force field.] WART now cut that out! What am I supposed to be invaded with anyway? W – Sin! C – Sin? W – Affirmative Commander, first you lied about what you were doing in the galley, then you stole, then you tried to cover your sins with evasive maneuvers. See sin is already growing in you. You must be debugged. C – Debugged? W – Affirmative – Your creator requires it. It is in your operating manual that you gave me to study for input. C – The Bible? W – Affirmative. If you are not debugged the sin will infest you and take over until it terminates you but cutting you off from your creator, God. Is that not correct Commander? C – Well yes that’s true but… W – You must use the built in prayer device your creator gave you to keep in contact with Him and repent, ask for forgiveness, be debugged or your system will overload with errors and crash. C – Crash huh? I can’t believe I got busted by my own robot but you’re right Mr. Conscience. W – My name is WART – your database must be damaged by the sin. C – It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time but sin is always a big deal because it never stops when you want it to stop, if we don’t repent it just grows and takes over. Okay WART I’ll repent. W – Affirmative – This is the proper procedure according to the manual.
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C – Dear Lord, I’m sorry for sinning, I lied and stole, forgive me Lord and wash me clean in the blood of Jesus Christ. I will even tell the cook I took a brownie to make things right. Thank you Lord. Amen Now I’m all debugged, okay WART? W – Affirmative. - Commander was this exercise a test of my new Bible Programming? C – Yeah WART – that’s it – This was just a test. (They start to walk out) W – (Alarm) Warning, warning, warning. This data is in error. My lie detector indicates this is a lie. C – Now cut that out. I’m going to disengage that walking conscience. W – No disassemble WART, no disassemble, no disassemble. Exit.
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