WART SKIT DAY 5 (Prop for Commander – Ray Gun) CR – (Loud) WART? WART? Where are you? WART – (whisper) Word Assimilating Robotic Transmitter responding. CR – WART I know you’re in here. WART – (whisper) Oh no! CR – (turns like he heard something and is suspicious) WART Voice activation now on! Override previous settings. WART come on command. Move to my current position now! And I do mean now WART! WART – Wait, stop! Oh no I can’t stop myself from responding. Wait! (Moves to where commander is) Oh greetings and salutations Commander. Word Assimilating Transmitter responding, Compliance. Don’t shoot, don’t shoot WART. CR – WART you heard me before why didn’t you respond? WART – I did respond Commander. I just responded quietly. CR – So you were hiding. WART – Robots do not hide. I was simply in stealth mode. CR – And who told you to go into stealth mode? WART – I am programmed to respond and change modes as required for the immediate emergency. CR – And what was the emergency? WART – respond, what was the emergency? WART – Compliance – The emergency was (whine) Don’t zap me with your ray gun Commander. I don’t want to go for melt down. I’m too young to die. I’m still under warranty. Commander please, do not disassemble WART. My transistors are very sensitive to being melted. No disassemble – no disassemble – no disassemble. CR – WART stop, that’s enough. You mean you’re scared. Well you should be. What ever got in to you to cause you to trash the kitchen like that? I thought maybe you had gone berserk and I was going to have to terminate you. (Hold’s up ray gun)
WART – Ohhh no shoot, WART just seeking input. WART sees humans open refrigerator look inside. Close refrigerator. This cycle is repeated intermittently through out each and every day. But when I asked for input concerning this process, humans just say WART would not understand. WART is superior and have greater intelligence than humans. WART just needed more input. So WART stuck head in refrigerator to see what was so enlightening that humans wouldn’t share it. CR – You stuck your head in the refrigerator? WART – Affirmative Commander. But WART was not enlightened, WART was… stuck. WARTS head did not fit inside the refrigerator; this is evidently a human error in my construction. WART needs this enlightenment from refrigerators. So when I tried to get my head out of the refrigerator to get vertical the refrigerator came with me. CR – You mean you were wearing the refrigerator like a hat? WART – Affirmative. This was not my intention. I then realized I was in grave danger, (melted ice cream and ketchup are not good for my circuitry), so I tried to retreat. CR – You tried to run? WART – Affirmative! But objects I could not discern kept blocking my path. CR – You ran into things in the kitchen because you couldn’t see with the refrigerator on your head? WART – Affirmative! So I determined it would be necessary to exert more force. So with great force I propelled myself in a forward motion. CR – You crashed through the wall? WART – Affirmative! At this point the weight of the refrigerator and the force of my forward motion caused WART be propelled downward. CR – You landed on your head? WART – Affirmative! CR – (insulting) Only a thick head like you could land on his head and not be broken. WART – Affirmative! I am crafted of superior elements. At this point the refrigerator remained stationary as I put myself into a vertical position and began to reassess the situation. CR – You got the refrigerator off and stood up.
WART – Affirmative! It was at this point that I determined the urgency of going into stealth mode. CR – You decided to run and hide. WART – (sigh) Affirmative! CR – WART (sigh) That’s quite a mess. It’s going to cost a lot of money to repair all the damage you caused. Why didn’t you just access your data banks to research why humans get into the refrigerator? WART – I did Commander but my research only indicated food, which is like charging my battery. I could not comprehend why this would cause so many emotions in humans. Some had great joy and others seemed saddened after viewing the contents of the refrigerator. That is when I determined I must experience this phenomenon for myself. CR – So now you understand? WART - No commander it is indeed a mystery. CR – For you and me both. WART – I am having deep regrets that I destroyed your kitchen Commander, but I still require further input concerning this wonderful power source. CR – Well you’re not going to get it by sticking your head into the refrigerator. I will talk to you about it later. (Big sigh) I know you didn’t mean to trash the kitchen and ruin my super. I forgive you WART. WART – (turns his back to commander-terrified) NO Commander don’t shoot. No disassemble – no disassemble – no disassemble. CR – (empahtic) WART I’m not going to disassemble you. I forgive you. WART – No disassemble WART? CR – No disassemble WART. WART – But why not? CR – Because I forgive you. WART – Input required concerning forgiveness. I think I like this word.
CR – WART when someone does something to hurt us, to make us angry, or upset us in any way our creator requires us to forgive them. When someone does something that upsets us our attitude arrests them in the spirit. You cannot see it in the natural but we bind them up with our feelings in the spirit realm. Our feelings carry a great deal of authority in heaven and in earth because Jesus Christ lives in us. He forgave us for our sins when we ask him to. Now he says we must forgive others just like he forgave us. Not only that Jesus says in Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive men their offenses, neither will your Father forgive your offenses.” If we don’t forgive others he CAN’T forgive us. And we all need forgiveness. I don’t want to stay angry with you because that would arrest me as well. It would bind me up into a prison of unforgiveness and prevent the Lord from being able to help me when I need Him. And I really need Him so I don’t want that to happen. So WART I forgive you. WART – (makes lots of technical noises) CR – WART what are you doing? WART – My databases were full of your errors. It caused me not to trust your input. So I am deleting all of the data entry logs of your errors from my memory. I am forgiving you. CR – Good job WART. Now let’s go see what we can do about repairing the kitchen. WART – Compliance! Head off together.
