The Value of Impressions

“The Value of Impressions” Leaders Journal | Episode 65 | Transcript When you were younger did your elders ever tell you...

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“The Value of Impressions” Leaders Journal | Episode 65 | Transcript When you were younger did your elders ever tell you to sit up straight, comb your hair, change your shirt, shake hands, smile, or show some respect? If so, did each of these admonitions tempt you to scream, “CUT ME SOME SLACK, WILL YOU?” “IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL!” Well, come to find out — it WAS a big deal — you just didn’t know it at the time! And guess what? It’s still a big deal. And Leaders Ought To Know. Hi, it’s Phil and you can be sure that in preparation for today’s episode I’ve picked my outfit very carefully. I’m trying to stand especially straight and tall. Heck, I would have even combed my hair — if that were only possible! Why? Because today we’re talking about impressions — leadership impressions. From a psychological perspective, a first impression is the occasion when one person first encounters another person and then proceeds to form a mental image of that person. Years ago, while working as a corporate recruiter, someone told me that most hiring decisions were made within the first 3 to 6 minutes of the selection interview. The balance of the interview, they explained, was simply time spent gathering information with which to justify the initial “hire or no hire” impression. “Just 3 to 6 minutes? How can that possibly be?” I was skeptical. Today psychological studies report that first impressions don’t take anywhere near 3 to 6 minutes to be cemented in one’s mind. It’s more like 3 milliseconds! Seriously! Now, the accuracy of first impressions can vary greatly person-to-person and can be influenced by a number of factors, including age, sex, race, language, appearance, accent, posture, voice and so on. © 2016 Leaders Ought To Know, LLC | PO Box 643, Princeton, KY USA 42445 | +1.270.365.1536 | leadersoughttoknow.com

Obviously, we don’t have the time to explore each of these today. Instead, let’s consider what Social Psychologist, Amy Cuddy, from the Harvard Business School tells us about the formation of impressions. Ms. Cuddy suggests that when meeting people for the first time, most of us evaluate two primary metrics. The first? Warmth and trustworthiness. Our impression of an individual’s warmth and trustworthiness directs our thinking — positively or negatively — as we consider, “what is this person’s true intentions toward me?” But here’s something else to think about. What if this isn’t your first meeting with the other person? What if they — your followers — know you all too well and have never experienced your warm, trustworthy side? Frankly, then you’ve got a lot of work to do. It’s easier to MAKE an impression that to REMAKE one. But it’s not impossible and it should be done. But remember, it won’t happen overnight. Rome wasn’t built in a day — and it will take time — focused, committed time to change misplaced impressions previously established. But you’ve got time and the long-term outcome will be worthy of your effort. I promise. The second metric Ms. Cuddy highlights is confidence. The confidence we place in our leaders — or which others place in us — is impacted by how strong and competent we — or they — believe the other person to be. And, yep, that too is an impression we control. Okay, here are a couple of ideas to implement this week as you begin working to improve the impressions you wish to make on others.

© 2016 Leaders Ought To Know, LLC | PO Box 643, Princeton, KY USA 42445 | +1.270.365.1536 | leadersoughttoknow.com

First, as a sincere means of expressing your personal warmth and trustworthiness, begin conversations by “talking with” not “to” others. Don’t hesitate to engage followers in personal conversation. Allow them to speak first and freely, whenever possible. When you do speak, lead with probing questions, as opposed to strong declarative statements, or worse still, barking orders. As you give directions, be sure to solicit input and feedback. As for proving your confidence worthiness -- remember, less is more. Attempting to display personal strength, intelligence and capability as a means garnering confidence usually proves to be a fool’s errand. However, SHOWING rather than TELLING usually wins the day. Show people by word and deed that you care about them and the challenges they face. Communicate what you can and will do to help address and overcome their challenges. Then confidence — justifiably, earned confidence — is bound to follow. And the best thing is, it doesn’t take a Harvard graduate to pass that test.

© 2016 Leaders Ought To Know, LLC | PO Box 643, Princeton, KY USA 42445 | +1.270.365.1536 | leadersoughttoknow.com