The Christmas Carpet© Message:
While waiting and preparing for an important Christmas guest, the most important guest came, unnoticed and unwelcome. Could be used as a dinner theatre
Bible Reference: Matthew 25:34-45 Set:
a basic living room / kitchen scene
Cast:
6 plus voice Edna, middle age spinster Margie, likely mid 20’s Tom, 20’s or older 3 Conroy children C1, C2, C3 all could be male or female, with some changes, ages (except for children) not critical VOG, (Voice of God) offstage should be a deep and expressive voice
Costumes:
plain
Sound and Lighting: as available, one or more spots would be useful doorbell sound Props:
vacuum cleaner small plastic bag full of dirt. Note that care should be taken with what is used for dirt. Flour, corn starch, and baby powder are very heavy inhalants, and also flammable when in their dust state. However, they have been used for years and are still in use, on a limited basis. Likely best to use Ben Nye makeup products, either Ash Powder (whitish) Charcoal (greyish) or Plains Dust (brownish). The actors should still try to avoid a large inhalation of the "dust." briefcase coffee table plastic bag (supposedly holding watermelon)
Special Instructions: This drama can be played as a dinner theatre or multi-act drama with appropriate songs or meal in between segments Time:
45 minutes, (drama only)
Script: Act I
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 1
Edna comes on stage wearing an apron, duster in hand, smudge of flour on her face, looks at her watch, reacts Edna:
Oh will you look at the time! I simply will never be ready in time! You know, much as I try to plan and get thing done on time, it seems like it always comes down to a last minute rush getting ready for Christmas and Christmas visitors. And this year especially! Like I mean talk about a special guest! My sister Nancy, she always says, “Edna, you shall simply never guess who is going to be my dinner guest!” See, Nancy, well, love her like crazy, but she is a bit of a card carrying snob, facts be told! Seems like she always does better, cooks better, speaks more intelligently on all kinds of subjects. What can I say, guess I was destined to be the sister in the background. Well, not in the background to my sister Margie, I mean, Margie she never did have much, what with all those children and all. Now don’t you go and get me wrong about me and my sister Nancy. It's not that I feel like I am competing with my dear sister Nancy, it's just that .... Well, I may as well come on out and admit that not only am I competing . . . I am constantly losing out in the competition! You know, for as long as I can remember, I got to feeling like . . . if only, just one time I could somehow . . . well . . . outdo Nancy . . just one single time! (shakes head, throws up hands) What is the use? Nancy is the wonder worker and I am . . . well . . . I am . . . me, is all. (moves downstage, smile, as though sharing a secret with audience, beckons audience to come near, listen) Hey, but listen! That was like yesterday! That was like in another lifetime! I want to tell you, I have this major, blow you out of the water kinda news! News about . . . come close, listen . . . News about my Christmas guest! (struts around, self-important, smirk on face, pauses, looks into audience as though listening to someone, then breaks into uncontrollable laughter) I knew you would be dying to find out about my Christmas guest! I flat out knew it! But before I lay the name on you, hey, how be we make us a small wager? Come on, what do you have to lose, I mean we aren’t going to bet real money or anything. (laughing, pointing out into the audience) Fine, see, the wager is this! I will bet you the spot of honour at my Christmas celebration table that you shall not be able to keep secret the
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 2
name of my honoured guest! (suddenly serious, frowns, becomes angry) What are you saying? “Am I serious about this wager?” Edna Sloan doesn’t go around throwing out wagers like penny candy at the Kiwanis parade, I tell you. Most certainly I am serious! OK, now then, down to brass tacks, I always say . . . Ready for me to lay the name of my guest on you? (laughs uncontrollably, slaps hands together above head, dances a jig, walks downstage as though sharing a secret) It is none other than . . . . door bell rings, Edna pauses Edna:
Wonder who that could be? (walking to door at side of stage) It’s too early for the mail, besides the mailman wouldn’t ring the doorbell. (suddenly a big smile, excited) I know! It is . . . my special guest!
rushes to door throws it open, speaks as she pulls Tom inside. Tom struggles, hauling in big briefcase and vacuum cleaner Edna:
You have come! You are here! You are a bit early, but no matter, you will just have to put up with dust if you happen to find any around while I am . . .
Edna frowns, trying to figure out what is going on Edna:
What is this, why the vacuum cleaner, what is happening . . .?
Tom, nervous: Well, maam, I am like, this is a new job for me, just started this morning. (holds hand out to Edna) Sorry, I was supposed to shake hands when I first came in, tell you my name, you will have to forgive me, this is my first call on this new job and I.. (slaps his temple) Where is my mind, supposed to tell you, my name is Tom. Tom Wright. I would give you a business card, but see, this is my first day on the job, my cards aren’t printed yet. . . . They are ordered, for sure. I saw the order with my own eyes. James Warden, he’s my new boss, he ordered my business cards, said it can take up to two weeks to get them. James Warden, like I say, he’s my boss, he gave me some of his business cards, said I could use his business cards until my business cards come back. Would you like to have one of James Warden’s business cards, I got them The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 3
right here in my pocket . . . (searches one pocket, worried look on face, tries another pocket, smile of relief) Ahh, here they are I knew that . . . (business cards spill all over the floor, Tom and Edna both bend down to pick up the cards, bump heads) Oh I am so sorry maam, I just bent over and like you bent over and . . . Did I tell you this is my first day on the job? Edna:
Yes. . yes, you did and, here, I will get your business cards while . .
Tom, starts to reach down: Oh, no maam, I couldn’t let you go and . . Edna, hand up, palm out to stop him: Stay, do not move! (rubs her forehead) My forehead can’t take any more of your helpfulness! (picks up business cards, hands them to Tom) There, here are your cards. Now I am very busy, am expecting a very important guest so if you will . . . Tom:
Maam have you heard and seen the features of the revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System?
Edna:
Electrolux Turbo . . .
Tom:
Fifteen minutes of your time is all maam, and you will thank me for introducing you to this wonderful new product.
Edna:
I am sorry but I have no . . .
Tom:
The revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System can take care of every floor in your home maam. From the deepest pile carpet to your hard to clean hardwood flooring . . .
Edna:
I don’t need any . . .
Tom:
Dog maam?
Edna, indignant: I beg your pardon? Tom:
Do you have a dog maam?
Edna:
No I do not!
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 4
Tom:
Cat?
Edna:
No, I have no pets . . . Well, a fish, but that’s . . .
Tom:
Fish don’t shed like dogs or cats . . but if you ever do get a dog or a cat, why the revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System will . . .
Edna:
Sir, I have absolutely no intention of ever getting a . . .
Tom:
Married?
Edna:
No, I am not married, I never have been married and I . . .
Tom:
Children?
Edna, furious: I beg your pardon! I have never been married and I most certainly do not have . . . . Tom, goes to his knees in front of Edna: Maam . . . Edna, takes a step back: What exactly do you think you are doing? Tom:
Maam, did you know that right here in your living room lives all kinds of the most deadly germs, living and reproducing in the dirt buried in your carpet . . (points down) right here!
Edna:
I beg your pardon! I will have you know that I am a meticulous housekeeper and never, ever, at any time, anywhere in my home do I allow any dirt, anywhere, anytime!
Tom, takes a plastic bag out of briefcase: Maam, this bag contains dirt! Dirt just like the dirt that right now is in your carpet! Edna, now irate: Look here . . . Tom:
Tom. Tom Wright maam. (sticks out his hand to Edna) Pleased to meet you maam.
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 5
Edna, takes Tom’s hand, thinks, pulls hand away: Look Tom Wright, I have had just about enough of this and I demand . . . Tom, wags finger at Edna: Ahh ahh! You promised me fifteen minutes of your time so I could demonstrate the revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System . . . Edna:
I most certainly did no such thing! I promised no such thing! You simply barged your way in here, and me getting ready for my important Christmas guest, and all you can think about is your silly vacuum cleaner . .
Tom:
Maam, I must correct you, other tools are vacuum cleaners, (pats vacuum cleaner), this . . is the revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System!
Edna:
I do not care what it is . . I have never cared what it is . . I shall never care what it is! All I want is for it . . and you, . . whatever your name is . .
Tom:
Tom. Tom Wright. Tell you what, I can write my name right over top of James Warden, he’s my boss, over top of James Warden’s name on the business cards he gave me to use when we have a hot prospect.
Edna, furious: I am not a prospect, hot or cold, and my only desire is to never see you again! So take your junk and get out of my house before I . . . in the struggle Edna knocks the bag of dirt out of Tom’s hands and it falls, breaks open on the floor, dust all over Tom:
Oh my! See the dirt all over your carpet! All I can say maam, it is lucky for you that I have this revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System along! Just a few quick and effortless swipes across the carpet and that nasty dust is history!
Edna:
I can not believe that there could be any man so frustrating and incompetent!
Tom:
I will just plug it in back here and . ..
Tom plugs in the vacuum cleaner, with big smile turns on the switch . . nothing happens . . turns switch on again, still no results, gets desperate Tom, now really worried and sweating: No worries, likely just a slight problem with the powerful motor on the revolutionary new Electrolux Turbocell Floor Management System, will The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 6
get that licked in just a minute. Likely if I just open up the case here and . .. parts of the vacuum cleaner go flying Edna:
Will you look what you have done? Parts of your junk all over my hardwood floor! (bends over, looks at floor) OK, now you have done it! Look at this, you have cut a huge scar into my new hardwood flooring! (screaming now) It’s ruined! You have ruined my floor! You and your patent incompetence! You fool! Jerk! Now get out of here!
Tom:
Maam, I feel so terrible! I didn’t mean to . . I mean, I needed a job, I have a family, I have been out of work for months and . . it's Christmas coming up, I needed a job. I am so sorry maam! I will go, get my tools, I will fix it up, I promise!
Edna:
You will get out of my house, and never come back! I will call your employer, explain what you did, your incompetence. I will demand that they fire you, and that they put in a new floor here. (points angry finger at Tom) What are you waiting for? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
lights off can be break or song
Act II Edna comes on stage, dusting coffee table, “sees” audience, reacts Edna:
Oh hi, glad you dropped back.
“listens” to audience Edna:
My floor? (looks around at her floor)
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 7
Oh, it’s all pretty much fixed. Tom’s employer, he put in a new floor, new carpet, I demanded it is what. Demanded that he fire Tom as well. For a minute there I felt a bit sorry for Tom but the guy is a . . . Well, likely I did Tom a favour, I mean the guy would simply never amount to anything, like I said, likely did him a favour. Anyhow, look, I must run . . my guest . . I was telling you . . should be along anytime I expect and then, like, WOW! I expect that we will . . . doorbell rings, Edna reacts with joy, expectation Edna:
Guess what, that likely is . . excuse me please . .
Edna goes to door, opens it, looks around, frown, then looks downward Edna:
Oh, hi, it's you, the Conroy children from next door. Look I am kinda busy and . . .
children walk in C1:
Hi Miss Sloan, we brought you some watermelon, thought you might like some.
C2:
And company. We came to keep you company, you living all alone and no children of your own.
Edna:
Well, children, that is very nice, very thoughtful of you but the fact is I am expecting . . .
C3:
Didn’t you never have kids Miss Sloan?
Edna, trying not to show she is offended: Well, . . no, . . . no, I never had children. I have my career . . besides I mostly raised Margie, my sister’s children, seems like. C3:
Oh, so you had lots of kids living with you all the time?
Edna:
No, not living with me, I have a career, like I said. But seems like I was always buying things for them, clothing, toys, medicine . .
C1:
Know what Miss Sloan? You for sure remind me of my Gramma, buyin’ stuff for us kids, always comin’ to pick us up, takin’ us to the zoo. . . . .
C2:
Yeh, and the great big hugs and juicy kisses! Did you always give your kids big hugs and juicy kisses, Miss Sloan?
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 8
Edna, plays nervously with her hands, wipes imaginary dust from her apron: Well, no, no, . . well, see, I didn’t have a lot of time for that, like I said, a career, busy twenty-four seven seems like. And I did send money to my sister Margie’s children, nearly every month. Everybody always said they had no idea what Margie would have ever done without me . . . C3:
But if the kids weren’t here, like with you, I mean, how could you get slurppie soft feelings?
Edna, wary:
“Slurrpie soft feelings?”
C2:
Our gramma always says that when she sees us she gets slurppie soft feelings all over.
C1:
The slurppie part is when we hug Gramma we always put the tip of our tongue on her cheek, it's way cool!
Edna, shudders: Ewwww! Well, at any rate children I must . . . C3:
Would you like a slurppie on your cheek Miss Sloan?
children close eyes, pucker and start to come toward Edna Edna:
You will not come near me! I detest . . . that is, . . . I am very busy children, and I must get busy preparing for my company, so you children must leave and . . .
C3:
You don’t like children much do you, Miss Sloan?
Edna, angry: That is simply untrue, uncalled for! Why I will have you know that for many years I have been superintendent of the Children’s Ministries at church. You know that! You have seen me working there, every Sunday, at church. I have earned the church’s Willing Worker Award twice and I have . . . . C3:
Yeh, but I never did see you talk to a kid, you know, like really get down and really . . talk.
C2:
I like it when old people get down on their knees and kinda hug me, and you know, really talk, (emphasize), . . . to . . . . me.
Edna, offended: I am not old . . . and I do have my career, and . . .
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 9
C2:
Mrs. Miles, my Sunday school teacher, I like her, she always asks what has happened in my week.
C1:
Once when Mrs. Miles was hugging me I accidentally got peanut butter and jam on her new dress. I felt real bad but Mrs. Miles said she thought it made her new dress look kinda cool and lived in.
C3:
Did little kids ever get peanut butter and jam on your dress Mrs. Sloan?
Edna, shudders, reacts: No, they most certainly did not! . . . . Besides, if it were not for the work I do in Children’s Ministries there would be no Mrs. Miles to . . . C2:
I’m kinda hungry. Do you think we could have a peanut butter sandwich Mrs. Sloan?
Edna:
Go on home where you belong and get your mother to feed you! I will not have crumbs all over my . .
C1 is kneeling down in front of coffee table, Edna sees C1, reacts angry Edna:
What are you doing? I just polished that coffee table! You are putting your dirty fingerprints all over, and me expecting company!
C1:
Sorry Miss Sloan, I was just . . .
Edna:
You were just being a nuisance is what you were doing, now get out, and don’t come back again uninvited!
C3, lifts plastic bag off the floor: Here’s the watermelon we brought you, Miss Sloan . . . ooops, the watermelon juice kinda leaked out on your carpet, sorry. Edna, furious: On my new carpet? I will never get that stain out! And my company coming very soon! I have a good mind to call your father and demand that he replace my carpet! Now leave this minute, you thoughtless children! Get out and do not ever come back! C2:
Sorry, Miss Sloan! We were just trying to . . .
C1:
See you on Sunday in church Miss Sloan, we will come and say hi to you in church, OK? . . . . .
Edna:
Do not bother! I have my duties as superintendent of Children’s Ministries, . . and my career, . . . and my guest . . .
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 10
Edna holds door open Edna:
Now leave immediately! Go on . . . go!
children, frightened, C1 and C3 leave stage, C2 is last to go, turns to Edna C2:
Thanks for lettin’ us come visit you Miss Sloan. Can I give you a big hug?
Edna, angry, hands outstretched to keep C2 away: Do not ever come near me! Do not ever touch me! Now go! lights off, can be break or song
Act III Edna comes on stage, adjusting chairs, “sees” audience, reacts Edna:
Oh there you are! Sorry, I won't be able to chat for long, (looks at watch), my guest will be here any minute, likely.
“listens” to audience Edna:
The children? Well they won't be back, I can guarantee you that much. You know, much as I love children, (aside to audience), did I mention I have for several years been superintendent of Children’s Ministries at my church? Well . . it just never does fail to amaze me how parents seem to feel that others should find their, (mocking), little darlings, as cute and adorable as the parents do. Now fact is I never married, never had children, but I feel like I have served my time, what with being superintendent of Children’s Ministries. . . . . and then I mostly just took over looking after my sister Margie’s children. Why is it parents can’t look after their own children?
frowns, listening to someone in the audience Edna, smiles, looks down: Like my carpet? It’s new. When I called the Conroy children’s father, told him how his children had ruined my new carpet, how I expected him to pay for replacing the carpet his children had ruined . . . Well Conroy, he started dancing around the issue . . . how it was Christmas and all, and money tight. Not my problem! It never fails to amaze me how parents feel that others should look after the consequences caused by their children. The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 11
And why do they have children when they can’t afford to look after them, clean up their messes. I mean, I never did have children, have my career, and have to look after my sister Margie’s children it seems. Not to mention the endless hours I put in as superintendent of Children’s Ministries at my church . . . I mean, I surely do my part, . . all for the glory of the Lord, of course. Nonetheless, when all is said and done . . . doorbell rings, Edna brightens, smiles, runs to door Edna:
It is my guest! I just know it! Come in, come in, I have been waiting forever for . . . .
Margie comes on stage, Edna reacts with shock Edna:
Margie! What are you doing here? I was expecting . . .
Margie:
Can I come in Edna? I am in big trouble!
Edna:
What is it this time Margie? Tell me one time you haven’t been in big trouble!
Margie:
I love you too sister dear! . . . . Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that I need your help, I have no one else to turn to.
Edna:
Look Margie, I do not have much time, I have an important guest coming. Now what is it you need this time? Money again I assume! How much do you need this time?
Margie:
How much? Much more money than you will ever have Edna. I need much more than money this time.
Edna:
Look, Margie, I am fed up with your constant coming around, asking for more and more, a hard luck story every time you come by! Now no more theatrics, spill it, what is going on?
Margie, beginning to sob: I am about to be arrested! OK? Edna:
You are . . what?
Margie:
I have been taking a few dollars from an account at work. Just a little when I needed some extra for the kids. Then I started playing the video lottery terminals, trying to make enough to replace the money. For a while I did, I had almost all paid back, and I quit gambling. Then I heard there was going to be an inspection from Home Office, I knew they would
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 12
find out . . I took more money, put it all on a sure thing . . Oh what does it matter? The inspection is tomorrow. They will know it was me, I am the only one with access to that account. You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the kids. I deserve what I get, my kids don’t deserve this! Edna:
I can not believe that you, even you, could be so stupid! Have you no sense at all? Surely you never expected to get away with this! And now you end up in jail! What do you expect to do with your kids? (acidly) You can’t hope their fathers will pitch in, if you even know who the fathers are!
Margie:
Edna, how could you be so cruel?
Edna:
How could you be so stupid?
Margie:
Would you please look after my kids while I am in jail?
Edna, totally shocked: Will I what? You expect me to look after your brats, to bail you out again? Margie:
I have no one else to turn to Edna.
Edna:
Then in that case you have no one to turn to sister dear! If you think for one second I am going to give up everything, my career, my freedom, my sanity! Not too likely little sister! You caused the problem, you live with it!
Margie:
I am begging you Edna, please don’t let my kids go to Child Protection Services! They are good kids, they don’t deserve to be punished for what I have done.
Edna:
Sounds to me like you are a bit late in figuring that out.
Margie:
Please Edna! I beg you!
Edna:
For the last time . . . NO! (looks down at floor) Look at your feet, they are covered in mud, and you are on my new carpet! You are ruining my new carpet! Now, get out!
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 13
Go look after your precious kids! Explain to them that their mommy is going to prison! Tell them they will be going to foster homes. Margie:
Dear God! Surely you wouldn’t allow this to happen! You are my sister!
Edna:
A biological accident! No sister of mine would stoop to stealing! So don’t call on God now, it is a little late. Now go, my company is due any moment!
Margie:
I can not believe that you would allow this to happen to my children, your own family!
Edna, opens the door: Go! It was your own decision and it is your own consequences! Margie, holds her head in her hands, walks slowly off stage: I can not believe . . . . Edna, closes the door, speaks matter-of-factly: There was nothing I could do. I have important company coming. lights off, break or songs
Act IV Edna comes on stage, adjusting chairs, “hears” an offstage voice Edna:
Oh you are finally here! How nice! In time for Christmas!
VOG:
Finally here? No, not at all, I have been here all along.
Edna:
I don’t understand.
VOG:
When Tom came to sell you a vacuum cleaner, when the kids came for love, when Margie came for help.
Edna:
You were here then? But why didn’t you speak up? (pause, thought, smiles) Oh, I understand! You didn’t want to interrupt when the others were here. I understand. But it's OK, they have all gone now, it's just the two of us. The way it should be.
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 14
(changing subject) Oh, did you notice my new carpet? I got it especially for your visit. VOG:
You got it? As I recall it was Tom’s boss that bought it, and then the Conroy children’s Dad replaced it.
Edna:
Yes, theoretically. But I wanted it to be special for your visit.
VOG:
Do you recall the verses you used in your lesson plan last Sunday?
Edna, excited, proud: Yes, yes I do! 1Chronicles 21. It was a wonderful success! And I am so glad that you noticed. VOG:
Tell me the story.
Edna:
Well, you know how it goes . . .
VOG:
Yes, I surely do know. Now tell me, in your own words.
Edna:
Well, it was when King David was making an offering to you, and Araunah offered to give King David the oxen, the grain and the wood for the offering.
VOG:
Yes, he did. And tell me, again, in your own words, what did King David say?
Edna, becoming visibly nervous: Well, what King David said was that he could not offer anything to you which had no cost to him. VOG:
Now in regards to your carpet . . .?
Edna:
You don’t understand! I wanted everything just right for you!
VOG:
No, I believe it is you who does not understand. I planned this for you, that you would do the right thing, that you would honour me.
Edna:
Listen! I am sorry! Look, Margie left a mud stain! I will get it wiped up right away, you’ll see, it will be perfect!
VOG:
Look again, at the stain. What do you see?
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 15
Edna, gets down on knees, examines: It looks like, . . . it looks like . . . blood. Margie must have somehow . . . VOG:
It isn't Margie’s blood Edna.
Edna:
But, it can’t be . . I mean . . .
VOG:
I visited you three times today Edna.
Edna:
If you had just told me, warned me . . that wasn’t fair!
VOG, loud:
Do you wish to talk about fairness?
Edna:
I am sorry, it’s just . . .
VOG:
Sorry? Are you really sorry Edna?
Edna:
You know I have spent my life serving you . . . .
VOG:
Serving? Yes. Serving me? Occasionally.
Edna:
What about my years in Children’s Ministries?
VOG:
What was your real motivation for serving there?
Edna:
To spread your word, to teach your flock.
VOG:
My flock? Indeed they are my flock. What did I ask that my followers do for my flock?
Edna:
Well, that we . . feed, feed your flock.
VOG:
I sent the children to you today to be fed. All they wanted was peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
Edna:
Do you realize how messy that is?
VOG, laughs: Yes, and it brings a smile to my face every time I do. But perhaps I should remind you of some of the messy situations I have lived through . . . and died in. Edna:
I am so sorry.
VOG:
And what of Tom?
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 16
Edna, angry: Tom said I had dirt in my carpet! And he put a big scar across my hardwood floor! VOG, very angry: Do you wish to compare scars? Would you care to examine the scars in my hands, my side, scars . . . put there for . . you! Edna, wiping away a tear: I am so sorry! VOG:
Margie. Your own sister!
Edna:
Margie has made stupid mistakes!
VOG:
Yes she has. Perhaps, through all of your Sunday school training and leadership you have failed to grasp the basic fact that . . (loud) . . I came to be the saviour of those who have made stupid mistakes! And that includes Margie.
Edna:
But looking after her kids . . .
VOG:
My kids!
Edna:
I am just not sure I can do it! Isn't there another way?
VOG:
Let me share a secret with you. For a few minutes one afternoon on a hill just outside Jerusalem, on a despicable cross, in excruciating pain, I had the very same thoughts. And those were pretty much my words too . . . Isn’t there another way?
Edna, weeping: I am so sorry! . . . Oh God, I am so very, very sorry! VOG:
Yes Edna, I really think you are sorry. Question is, will it change you?
Edna:
Can I do it? Can I make it up to Tom? Help get him his job back?
VOG:
As I recall there is an opening in the sales department at your office.
Edna:
You expect me to recommend Tom for a job after what he said about my carpet?
VOG:
Nope. I expect nothing. But I recommend that you recommend Tom.
Edna:
He might be a real dud as a salesman.
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 17
VOG:
Yes, he might.
Edna:
I would look like a fool if he falls flat on his face.
VOG:
Yes you would.
Edna:
Thanks a lot!
VOG:
No problem.
Edna:
What if he does fail though?
VOG:
What if he doesn’t?
Edna:
OK, I will speak to my boss in the morning.
VOG:
Sounds like a wonderful plan to me. If it's what you want to do. Now what about Margie’s children?
Edna:
Now that I can not do!
VOG:
So what is your Plan B?
Edna:
My Plan B? You are the one with the Master Plan.
VOG:
Yes I am. And I checked out the Master Plan earlier today, just as a refresher. Your name is in there, under flock feeder. And I noticed a big smear of peanut butter and jam right beside your name.
Edna:
You are joking, right?
VOG:
I could be, but don’t bank on it. The flock feeder part you can for sure take to the bank.
Edna:
I simply can’t handle those kids by myself.
VOG:
Maybe invite the Conroy children next door to come visit, they can play with Margie’s children.
Edna:
Great! Just what I needed, not three but six kids! And me all on my own.
VOG:
Do the words “never leave nor forsake” ring a bell?
Edna:
That is true isn't it, you will be here always.
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 18
VOG:
Another take it to the bank thing. Speaking of bank, I happen to know that the amount of money that Margie needs to pay back her employer is exactly the amount you have in your retirement bank account.
Edna:
Hey wait a minute! If you think I am going to hand over my hard-earned money to pay back the money Margie stole . ..
VOG:
Careful of bending facts! That money was not hard earned, it was given to you when your parents died.
Edna:
Yes it was! And Margie got the same amount . . which she promptly blew!
VOG:
I know. I was there. Watching. Weeping.
Edna:
Well I have no intention of giving up my retirement fund for Margie.
VOG:
No problem. Just crossed my mind that if Margie were to make full restitution the chances are that the court would look favourably on it. Maybe even a suspended sentence. Meaning she would be around to help you look after the kids when they move in here with you.
Edna:
Move in here? You have got to be kidding . . . But you’re not kidding, are you? . . (chuckles). . Am I allowed to call you sneaky, in a loving way of course?
VOG:
I have been known to accept that.
Edna:
Fine, I will speak to my boss tomorrow about Tom.
VOG:
And Margie and the kids?
Edna:
We can make my office into another bedroom.
VOG:
Wonderful! It should be a great Christmas for everyone.
Edna:
I can see it all now! Big hugs and juicy kisses.
VOG:
Don’t forget slurrpie soft feelings.
Edna:
Like I could forget. . . . You know, silly as it seems, I am looking forward to it all. It is going to be a great Christmas.
VOG:
That is the plan.
Edna:
Look, sorry, I gotta go call Margie, and Tom, and Mr. Conroy.
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 19
VOG:
Mr Conroy?
Edna:
Yeh, I owe him for a carpet.
VOG:
I am impressed! Give him my love. Give them all my love.
Edna, starts to leave the stage, stops, turns back: One more thing. Merry Christmas! VOG:
Thank you.
Edna smiles, nods, waves slightly, walks off stage, lights off
The Christmas Carpet© ©Copyright DramaShare® 2005
Page 20
