Prefer One Another by Sheila Arnold
Message: Cast
The Self-Absorbed Church of Us offers (bad) alternatives to traditional loving churches. Off-stage Voice Infomercial Salesperson (can be male or female, use of real first name is the easiest with this piece. Also, it’s best to have a person that persons in the audience have seen in other presentations.)
Directorial Note The “Saints Salute” is something specific to my church, and can be replaced with a program the Director’s church does that is encouraging, but might be under fire sometimes. Time:
4 minutes
Script: Off-stage Voice: (speaking while the Infomercial Salesperson sets up a small desk with paper, pen, Self-Absorbed Bible and chair and then stands in frozen position leaning on the desk waiting to begin.) The following is a paid commercial. The ideas presented in this commercial are not supposed to be the views of the present listening body, or of anyone who follows the word of God. Salesperson: Hello, I’m Sheila Arnold and I’m an actress. You may have seen me in various shows portraying someone who was a Christian. But I’m here to talk to you about a very real life-changing group. I’m here to introduce and invite you to attend Self-Absorbed Church of Us. I know you may have questions about this wonderful group, and I’m here to tell you of my personal testimony. You see I used to attend a “traditional” church, but I found myself confined to the guidelines and restrictions of others. I was involved in several organizations and whenever I would give a suggestion to the leader, they would never listen to me. And my suggestions were always good and timely. I often played the devil advocate for my groups, so they could truly see the entire picture of any decision they were making, but they didn’t listen to me. I tried several times to become the President or at least some type of leader in the different groups, but was never elected, or nominated. I was told once I was so opinionated I caused conflict. Well, the church is a microcosm of society and we have conflict in society don’t we? You may have also had these same experiences. If you will grant me just a moment more, I want to share two more sad examples of life in the “traditional” church. I saw Church meetings as a waste of my time. There were bickerings over the small things, and when I saw an issue to be dealt with (large or small) and wanted to expound, I was given a time limit. Hmmph! Then at the final church I attended, they had something called Prefer One Another Page 1 Copyright Sheila Arnold published with permission by DramaShare 2004
Prefer One Another by Sheila Arnold
“Saints Salute.” Well, I can tell you – I am a Saint! But I was never nominated or selected to be saluted and honored. They just chose the same people over and over and never looked at me. That is when I decided to leave. You can make that same decision. The Self Absorbed Church of Us is a small group. Actually, I’m the only one presently attending. But because of this small size, we can provide you with the intimacy and attention you so desperately want – that is as long as I am in charge. And your views are valued here, especially when in line with my personal ones. We encourage growth and leadership underneath my own leadership, of course. If you would like more information about Self-Absorbed Church, simply send $49.99 via credit card by calling the number given at the end of this message. And don’t worry, unlike other churches, I will make sure your money is put to the use that only you want, after a small handling fee of $48. I want to thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to having you come with Us. The Self-Absorbed Church is the home YOU’VE been looking for. Have a great day! (Salesperson puts large smile on face, tilts head and freezes.) Off-stage voice: Again, the preceding message was a paid commercial and does not necessarily represent the attitudes and views of God’s people. If you should want more information about the Self-Absorbed Church of Us, call toll free 1-800-Pride-I-Got. (Salesperson goes off stage.)
Prefer One Another Page 2 Copyright Sheila Arnold published with permission by DramaShare 2004
