June 2009

PERSPECTIVES Summer Edition Arbor Family Counseling Employee Assistance Caregivers—Give Care to Self When it comes to ...

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PERSPECTIVES Summer Edition

Arbor Family Counseling Employee Assistance

Caregivers—Give Care to Self When it comes to taking care of others, most people are all ready to “go for it.” However, it is very necessary to be aware of one’s own needs while ministering to loved ones in need of care. Only when one takes care of him/herself is it possible to effectively care for others. Therefore, take responsibility for your own well-being and get your personal needs met. If you are acutely aware of the things you need-sleep, exercise, proper diet, and outside interests, and make a concentrated effort to incorporate them (with help from family members or appropriate local organizations), you will then be a more effective and happier caregiver. Some hints include: 1) Learn and use stress-reduction techniques; 2) Attend to your own healthcare needs; 3) Get proper rest and nutrition; 4) Exercise regularly; 5) Take time off without feeling guilty; 6) Participate in pleasant, nurturing activities; 7) Seek and accept support from others; 8) Seek supportive counseling when you need it, or talk to a trusted friend; 9) Identify and acknowledge your feelings; 10) Challenge negative ways you may view situations; 11) Set goals. To learn more about healthy caregivers, go to the following sources: http://www.caregiver.org - Family Caregiver Alliance, NCC http://wwwwww.aoa.gov - Because We Care http://www.eldercare.gov - Area Agency on Aging (for caregiver support groups, respite providers, and other care giving services) ; http://chtop.org/ARCH.html - ARCH National Respite Network Center

June, 2009

Spent: Voluntary Financial Simplicity Dr. Sally Palaian’s main goal is to challenge the unconscious and unplanned spending that alters the rest of our life, including the damage it can do to our closest relationships. Having an unhealthy relationship with money can take the form of impulsive spending, compulsive buying or even hording. Dr. Palaian’s book includes different assessments as well as planning sheets that help you improve your relationship with yourself by improving your relationship with money. Some of her points include: We are not used to being conscious about our money, especially now that we use cards and don’t have to carry it to spend. It is not real to us. We could benefit from planning, including having a spending limit. Stop to reflect on a purchase by asking yourself if you can afford it, how you will pay for it or if you really want it or really need it. Realize that two different people bring two different money styles into a relationship. Since we are often unconscious about money, spending time talking about it prevents problems. Dr. Palaian talks about how money runs through every part of our life. She encourages us to decide what we really desire out of life and how money fits

into that. She also strongly encourages us to teach our children about appropriate and planned spending and to not be afraid to say “no” to purchases. For More information purchase Dr. Palaian’s book “Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth”. You can also visit her website at: http://www.SallyPalaian.com

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Leadership at All Levels Formal authority or title does not equate to leadership ability, rather leadership should be found at all levels of an organization. According to Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones, there are three things that should be known about leadership: 1) It is relational — that is, it is something done WITH people not TO them. 2) It is nonhierarchical — formal authority or title do not denote leadership. Leaders can and should be found at all levels. 3) It is contextual — circumstances you inherit or inhabit are your starting point, and you need to size up and tap into what exists, and bring more to the “party.” Chip Conley adds another dimension to leadership, and states that leadership involves three distinct elements, all of which need to be addressed: employees, customers, and investors. He suggests that just as the Maslow Hierarchy of needs addresses why individuals behave the way they do, the same concept should be a part of good leadership skills. The point is that the leadership individuals and teams should be meeting the needs of the three elements; both the “survival” needs on the lower end of the pyramid, and the “success” needs on the upper levels of the pyramid. These relationships are crucial to strong leadership and success. Good leaders incorporate the three elements into the process of the WITH rather than the TO concept as defined above. Such leadership (inclusive) can have its pitfalls according to Angela Hills. These leaders are innovators, and their responsibilities are quite a challenge. Their strategies include: learning and adapting to the culture of the company; coaching the right/appropriate behaviors; and building trust through modeling. By incorporating these strategies, pitfalls can be avoided. The pitfalls include: 1) Tension between short and long-term priorities — everyone wants to look at the future; however, it also must include the here and now. 2) The start-up effort can be overwhelming. 3) The fear of the unknown tends to loom large. 4) Innovators are disconnected from the business strategy, and if it is not aligned, it can fall short of the intended purpose. Excerpts from http://www.LeaderExcel.com

Financial Anxieties? Arbor offers a variety of referrals and information for concerns ranging from budgeting to financial crisis needs.

Call us at 402-330-0960 WHAT DOES ARBOR EAP HAVE TO OFFER YOU? Professional, caring counselors who offer one-on-one confidential counseling for you and your family members for: Stress Solutions

Conflict Resolution

Time Management

School/Work Issues

Marriage and Family Initial visits free — paid for by your employer or school system Call today 402-330-0960 or 1-800-922-7379 Visit our Website: http://www.arborfamilycounseling.com

“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of a ship are built together, they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together, they form a craft that floats and is going someplace.” Ralph W. Sockman

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Summertime = Outdoor Playtime Both adults and children can benefit from playing games outside. This year particularly, as a result of having to “make do” in the light of the economy, a revival of “old time fun” is in the air and every place else. Adults might like to “relive” their childhood and play a little croquet, bocce ball, badminton, or horseshoes. If in doubt how to play the games, they can be found at free web sites: http://www.lifescript.com, http://smallstep.gov or http://familycorner.com. If you have no access to the web, you might try checking with Grandpa or Aunt Josi. Just to get you started, below are some old favorite group games that can be played by kids of all ages. Just add the participants and HAVE FUN. Water Balloon fight Egg & Spoon Race Water Bucket Relay Red Light, Green Light Tag Hide-and-Seek Red Rover Kickball Four Square Ball Hopscotch Freeze Tag Swing the Statue Sneaky Sprinkler Horse Basketball Hopscotch Jump Rope Simon Says Mother May I Scavenger Hunt Body Part Freeze Tag What Time is it Mr. Wolf? Capture the Flag

Enjoy the summer days and evenings. Play some games with the little ones and take some pictures of memories to last a lifetime. As the summer draws to a close, take the developed pictures and put them on a newsletter to share with family and friends at the end of the year. WOW!! It is fun to plan ahead and have fun while doing so. Complete directions for several of these “old time” games can be found on the web sites listed at the beginning of this page. ENJOY your summer. Perhaps the list will trigger memories of games you also played in the past and you can revive them for today!!!!!!!!

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Counselor Specialties: When you call, the receptionist will match you to the counselor best suited to your needs. You are welcome to indicate if you have a preference for a male or female counselor. A list of counselors and specialties is on our website.

After EAP Sessions are Complete:

USING YOUR EAP BENEFIT Arbor Family Counseling wants you to know the great opportunity your employer has created for you by purchasing an Employee Assistance Program. This article will focus on how to contact us, who is eligible for EAP benefits, and the various services available.

Contacting Arbor: You can contact us by phone or email at the following: 1-800-922-7379, 402-330-0960 or [email protected]. Calls are answered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including holidays and we respond to emails within the same business day. If it is an emergency, calling will provide immediate assistance. Please contact us by phone or email to make appointments or just to have your questions answered.

Who is Eligible? All employees, their significant others, and their dependents are eligible for program participation. Family life has many different definitions, and we are here to honor and help you and your family. It is entirely possible for a significant other to access services by himself/herself. Adult children living in the home are also able to access services individually.

Confidentiality: Our relationship with you and your household members is completely confidential unless you tell your employer or sign a release.

After the free EAP sessions are complete, you are able to continue with the same counselor under most insurance plans. Your counselor will help you with this or refer you on if necessary.

Services Available: Employees can call us for a free assessment on the following concerns: Counseling Services Marital/Relationship Concerns, Personal or Work Stress, Emotional Health and Wellness, Anger Management, Depression, Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Parenting/Step-parenting, Substance Abuse, Smoking Cessation, Healthy Eating and Exercise, Coping with Illness and Loss Financial Resources Financial Planning, Home Mortgage/Foreclosure Budget/Debt Problems, Identity Theft Concierge Services Legal Concerns, Medical Referrals, Child Care Resources, Education/College Planning, Elder Care, Daily Life Management Issues Coaching Services Professional Coaching, Life Coaching, Professional Skills Development, Career Goals

Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things. Bruce Barton