Going where?© Based on John 14:5-6. No special sets, lighting, sound or costuming required. Cast: three actors can be any age, male or female. Script Tom and Arnie come on stage, followed shortly by Ted. Ted:
Hi, Tom, Arnie, what ya doin’?
Tom: Not much, Arnie was just tellin’ me about Ellie, did ya know she’s goin’ away? Ted:
Going away? Ellie? No way!
Tom: Yup, she is. Tell, him, Tom, tell him what you told me. Go on, tell him! Arnie: Ellie’s goin’ away. Tom: See, just like I said, Ellie’s goin’ away, isn’t that just what I told ya? So what d’ya think about that news? Ted:
Now, that is a surprise. Ellie. Going away. Where’s she going to?
Tom: Goin’? Going where? Ted:
Ahhh, I just asked that! Earth to Tom! Ellie’s going away, where is she going to?
Tom: No idea. All I know, she’s goin’! Yup, goin’ away, all right! Ted:
I believe we have fully established that Ellie is going away. What we need to develop is, to just where is Ellie going?
Tom: To just where? (short pause, thinking) Not sure I know that. Arnie never told me. Go ahead then Arnie, tell him you never told me where to Ellie is goin’. Arnie: I never told him where to Ellie is goin’. Ted:
Well, look, somebody must know where Ellie is going! Who told you Ellie is going away, anyway?
Tom: I already told ya that, Arnie told me Ellie is goin’ away! Look, Arnie, tell Ted Ellie is goin’ away. Arnie: Ellie is goin’ away. Going where?© ©Copyright DramaShare® 1999
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Going where?©
Ted:
Do you two have any idea the magnitude of your frustration potential?
Tom: Speakin’ only jist fer myself, caint say I do. (hums, sings, off key) “The magnetittude of your . . . first a-shush . . .. Sorry, maybe, you wuz ta hum a bar er two? Arnie, you ever heard of “the magnetitude of yer first a-shush somethin’ pernenchul”? Have ya, Arnie? Arnie: I never did once heard of the, . . . the . . . , I never heard of the . . . whatever he said. Tom: See that, Arnie, he never heard of it either. Ted:
What I said was, . . . oh, forget it! Now can someone tell me where Ellie is going?
Tom: No, can’t. Arnie, he just told me that Ellie said, “You’ll know where I am goin’. Is that not what you said to me, Arnie? You tell him, Arnie. Arnie: Yup, I said to Tom, I said, “Ellie said, ‘You’ll know where I’m goin.’” Tom: See, isn’t that just what I just told ta? Ellie, she said, you’ll know . . . . Ted:
I know what you said that Arnie said that Ellie said . . . . Ohhh! Well, surely Ellie left some hint about where she was going!
Tom: Likely ta Paris, France, my guess. Ted:
Finally, now we’re getting somewhere! So, Ellie told you she liked Paris, and that she likely be going there?
Tom: No! Ellie, she never told me anythin’ about Paris, France! How many times, I told ya? Arnie, he told me that Ellie was, . . . . Oh, Arnie, tell him again, one more time! Never was anything said about Paris, France! Arnie: I told him that Ellie was goin’ away. Never was anythin’ said about Paris, France. Ted:
Then what made you say that Ellie was . . . .
Tom:
. . . . . . What I said, wuz, ‘likely, likely Ellie’s goin’ ta Paris, France. Ellie never told me, Arnie he never told me . . . .
Ted:
Then, why would you tell me Ellie was going to Paris . . ..
Tom: That’s Paris, France . . . .
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Going where?© Ted:
. . . . Paris, France! Why would you tell me that?
Tom: I always kinda liked the thought of goin’ ta Paris, France. Always did. Didn’t I, Arnie? You tell Ted, tell him I always kinda thought of goin’ ta Paris, France. Arnie: Tom, he always kinda thought of goin’ ta Paris, France. Ted:
Oh, I give up! (pause) Think now, was there something Ellie said that could give us a clue where she might be going? Let’s see, she often talked about where she came from. I remember her talking a lot about her father.
Tom: Hey, now ya mention it, I do seem to recall Ellie talkin’ lots about her father. Arnie, you was there, you tell Ted how Ellie talked lots about her father. Arnie: Ellie talked lots about her father. Ted:
So, then, if Ellie often talked about her home, and her father, it’s just logical that she would be going . . . . . .
Tom: . . . . You’re bang on, makes sense! Ellie must be goin’ ta Milwaukee! That’s it! Arnie, you tell Ted, Ellie’s goin’ ta Milwaukee. Arnie: Ellie’s goin’ ta Milwaukee. (short pause) Hey, whatcha talkin’ ‘bout Tom? How way ya git that Ellie’s goin’ ta Milwaukee when she’s always talking ‘bout where she came from, talkin’ ‘bout her father? You know full well, Tom, Ellie didn’t come from Milwaukee, her father, he don’t live in Milwaukee! Plain as the nose on yer face, it is! Ellie’s goin’ ta . . . . . San Francisco! Ted:
Oh, I get it. Makes sense. Ellie was from San Francisco, was she? Told you that, Arnie, did she?
Arnie: No! Dah! Ellie wasn’t from San Francisco! What makes you say Ellie was from San Francisco? Ted:
Well, if she wasn’t from San Francisco, why would you be so sure she was going to San Francisco?
Arnie: Well, I never bin ta San Francisco, and I thought . . . Ted:
Look, you guys! We are trying to find out where Ellie has gone. And, it’s not where you would like to go that will give us a clue, it’s where Ellie would likely go. Understand?
Tom: You know, I believe I follow you on this one. Let me just run it by myself, jist one more time. ‘It’s not where we would like to go that will give us a clue, it’s
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Going where?© where Ellie would likely go.’ Yup, makes a lotta sense, it does. Wouldn’t you say that makes a lotta sense, Arnie? Arnie: Makes a lotta sense. Tom: Look, I remember Ellie tellin’ us about where she came from, where her father was from. Now that we know that, we probably can just assume that it is to there that Ellie is going. Why don’t you two just come along with me and we’ll just get the phone number and we can . . . actors off stage
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